A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat) Analysis. He said, my strength is my wife. My weakness is my neighbor's wife. Opportunity comes when neighbor goes out. Threat comes when I myself go out.
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly,"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage "It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.
cheerios (((: iFLEW @ 2:25 PM
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